Funny pet note

write your dogs a letter explaining the house rules! Pet lovers will love this!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

FOR THOSE THAT DON’T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don’t.

(2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people..

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less,

(2) don’t ask for money all the time,

(3) are easier to train,

(4) normally come when called,

(5) never ask to drive the car,

(7) don’t smoke or drink,

(8) don’t want to wear your clothes,

(9) don’t have to buy the latest fashions,

(10) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college and

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children…..(*_*)

This “pet note” came in as an email from my friend, Rosemary, who has a wonderful health blog about living with chronic pain, Seeking Equilibrium.

Thanks for sharing Rosemary!

 

20 thoughts on “Funny pet note

  1. I immediately printed this note and hung it on the fridge for my own crew of four-leggeds to read. (I live with a baker’s dozen, both canine and feline.)

    Mu husband’s cat actually pushed me out of bed several nights ago, and my own cat really believes that he can do anything, even drive, although, in truth, he doesn’t know he IS a cat.

    Thanks for sharing and brightening my day!

    Like this

    • Hi mmidnite! (cool name)

      It is a great note isn’t it? Who really rules? The two or four-legged? I think the four! Feline and Canine. Mine ignore notes, even though I’m sure they can read, or rather, they probably think they can :)

      Glad it brightened your day. Thanks for your comment.

      Dogkisses — and catkisses too.

      Like this

  2. Mostly true. However, I have known several dogs that want to drive the car, and think they should be allowed to. Cats do not want to drive, and usually don’t even like cars. Cats will even refuse to ride in the back of a pickup.

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    • Yes, you’re right! My son’s dog used to always want to drive. He’s given up on that in his wiser years.

      I’ve never seen a cat that wanted to ride either and as far as one riding in the back of a pickup, lol, have you ever tried that?

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    • I love ‘em like no tomorrow. Mine are wrestling right now, and my son thinks this is very funny. He’s supposed to be keeping them in line. Gotta take these house dogs outside for a walk, and sure am glad my son can do that :)

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  3. Loved this, Needed a laugh today :-) I related to many of the feline cats traits, I was often pushed to the other end of the bed with a couple of cats paws in my back. And She would paw the covers off when she wanted up and out and feeding. Sadly none of them are with me as they passed away through old age…. But they have left their memories and I often still feel their pressence.. especially when I get a bit down…
    As animals always know when you are in need of that extra bit of love, and sit near you giving you there unconditional loving energy.
    Enjoyed your Post Michelle… Have a Good week.. Dreamwalker :-)

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    • Hi Dreamwalker,

      I laughed with this too. I don’t have cats and wish I’d tagged the post because I know cat lovers can relate to this post. I just forgot.

      I’m sorry your dear friends passed on. I wish they all lived longer. Their time here with us sure is a gift, truly a blessing. I’m glad their memory helps soothe your heart. I enjoy remembering my girl, Free, too.

      You’re right, they do know when we need more love. It’s amazing. Yesterday I didn’t feel well. I had to keep lying down from fatigue. I became very frustrated. They knew it so they both came to the sofa. The little one, only fifty pounds, got beside me in the middle and the other one jumped up and laid his body across my feet.

      I am truly moved by their ways of communicating love.

      Peace Dreamwalker :) And a good week to you too… Michelle.

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  4. This gave me a much needed laugh today! I loved the part about sleeping in the bed – I’m looking at our two “boys” laughing right now! Thanks for a great post!

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    • :) Me too!

      We bought our older dog, who is ten now, a nice new bed but he runs when I’m not looking and jumps on my bed or the sofa, finally resigning to a chair. Sigh… Maybe I’ll use it ’cause it’s very comfortable!

      I need to post this note on my fridge!

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    • Paul,

      I enjoyed the video. Thank you. I may share it in a post.

      My son had a childhood friend who couldn’t feel pain. Once he visited at Christmas and we had a candle going where we were making crafts. His coat caught on fire when I wasn’t looking and he didn’t feel it when it started to burn through. Fortunately, he didn’t get hurt and that’s when his mom told me about his condition. Very sad.

      I cried during this video, as it came in at a time when I surely needed to hear some hope.

      Like this

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