I saw my son’s heart while we were working together in the gardens yesterday. It was beautiful! Some people have a green thumb, which I believe my son has, but he also has a green heart.
I saw it when he watered the beds where we planted tiny carrot and lettuce seeds last week. And of course in the bed of Bok Choy.
I saw it when he pulled a few weeds from our special bed where the little lizard used to live. (I guess my cute little friend went on to some greens without gardeners).
I saw his spirit shining when I later looked at the photos I took during class, which included the potted Cacti he made during the first class. That pot continues to show me his spirit. It grows on it’s own. It’s easy for him to have this potted plant, which isn’t the case for all of us. Some of us have a hard time keeping them alive, much less seeing them thrive without effort.
The horticulture therapist and I had a chance to chat a bit after the earlier week’s class. My son didn’t feel like going that day and I had gone alone. “He has so much heart and soul,” she remarked.
People often say that about my son. I often forget to remember what is right, when sometimes it feels like a lot is wrong. It’s easy, I guess, to focus on what I can help change or make better, than it is to spend time being grateful and enjoying all that is okay and good.
My son is a quiet person now. He doesn’t engage in conversation the way he did growing up, which was enthusiastically with almost everyone he met. This change has been very difficult for me to accept.
Psychiatry suggests that his frequent silence is a symptom and I must admit that ever since he was diagnosed with a mental illness, I believed this was true. I’ve believed many things that today I am seriously questioning.
I believe my son has a lot to say. I believe he has been silenced for a long time. I believe in the right environment he could and would thrive.
Times are changing in the mental healthcare arena. There is a new language used to talk about madness. We are finally starting to acknowledge that matters of the heart matter. The spirit and soul of a person matters.
I’m glad to be alive and a part of the conversation. Honestly, I didn’t think I would be.
I dream of access to healing and rehabilitation centers, and organizations created to help people who live to a different beat have meaningful work and be able to make valuable contributions in community.
I don’t know if my dreams and hopes will be realized in my life, but a new conversation has begun!
Thanks for visiting Dogkisses’s blog. Feel free to leave a comment and I hope you also have some ‘Green Healing’ days.
- Green Healing (dogkisses.wordpress.com)
- Green Healing and Lizard (dogkisses.wordpress.com)
- Green Healing ~ from lizards to ladybugs (dogkisses.wordpress.com)