Remembering Free, with Love
This is Free in her element. Resting in between swims along the river. Free was my companion, a loved family member, my son’s best buddy and the greatest teacher in life I’ve ever known. I loved Free and I will always miss her.
Free blessed this earth from 1993 - 2006 and forever lives in my heart
I AM FREE
I once had four legs with webbed paws.
I swam in rivers, lakes, ponds and the ocean.
I plopped down in big ‘ol dirty mud puddles too.
I absolutely loved water!
I fetched sticks and balls
and anything my human friends would throw for me.
I loved it on earth!
I had a great human mom and a
terrific big brother to play with me.
I went camping and traveled around the country
with my human family.
We had lots of fun!
I loved them very much and they loved me too.
I once ran so fast into a stick
that I had to have surgery.
I was very enthusiastic about fetching!
I swam in nearly every river in the southeastern
United States.
I camped in most national forests.
I went all the way to New Mexico
and once lived on a horse farm in Texas.
I did lots of fun things during my life on earth.
I totally digged food and raw meat bones!
I ate all sorts of things that my human family
thought I shouldn’t have.
I once ate an entire bag of Halloween candy.
Chocolate, caramel, suckers, chewing gum,
even the paper.
I liked everything in the bag
except for the very hot red balls.
I tried each one but they were no fun.
I was a very good girl
but I did steal toys from neighbors.
I was kind of spoiled
and as I got older I didn’t care much
for other four-leggeds in my territory.
I did like one in particular.
I loved visiting her
and running in her grass.
She lived on a farm
at my human aunt’s house,
so I guess we were first
cousins through human relation.
I lived on earth almost 13 years.
That’s almost 90 human years!
I enjoyed my life and loved my family
I will tell of that
and our wonderful years together.
I want my human family to remember our fun times.
I want them happy when they think of me.
I am Free.
dogkisses, 2006 
DOGKISSES 
Posted by ruthie on March 9, 2011 at 10:16 AM
Hi Michelle, Awww, thanks for thinking of me and asking me to drop you a note, that is so sweet!!!! I continue to be blessed by your post and writings and I still visit it. I am so touched at the love spoken and felt in your writings for your Free and how much she touched your heart by her faithful and loyal love. The expressions you explain of her sitting by your side and just staring at you, they describe such precious love which always touches my heart. wishing you peace & love and joy, ruthie
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Posted by dogkisses on March 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM
Hi Ruthie,
I’m glad you got my note. I hope you are well. Thanks for leaving me a reply. And for the sweet messages too.
Peace, love and joy to you also!
Michelle.
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Posted by dogkisses on March 9, 2011 at 10:06 AM
Hi Ash,
I received a gift during Free’s diagnosis of bone cancer. A woman with Cystic Fibrosis came into our lives. She was thriving after having two lung transplants. She had started a Pet Hospice. Free was her first “client.”
She was a trained Hospice volunteer and she gifted me with her skills, a special wisdom she had from facing the possibility of death each day and twice, she was on her way until the set of lungs were given. She was a special human being, and as I write, I believe continues to live life to the fullest.
Every day she came to our home during Free’s last few months. Her foundation paid for any treatment I chose. The medicine and a week’s round of radiation. Not chemo. But… I promised Free I would only talk about our good times. So…
The woman gave us both gifts. She took me out to eat. She brought Free toys and a nice bed. She was a dear, dear friend to me and especially, to Free.
Then, I cried. I couldn’t stop. The docs all said I needed an antidepressant. I did not want one. I wanted to cry and grieve. Even though Free hadn’t left this earth yet. Our new friend understood this too.
The good in this, I think, is that my friend helped me communicate with Free and I did. What I saw was complete unconditional love. Absolute. Anything I felt guilty over, such as a time I once stayed out too late and she needed to do her business, which she did, lol, but I always felt bad that I hadn’t come home in time that night.
All the days I had to focus on other things, like relatives illnesses and the hours she had to wait on me, I felt guilty for. The depression I had when I couldn’t go outside with her. I felt guilty for it.
I finally lied down beside Free and for three solid days I stayed with her, looking into her eyes, telling her all I was ever sorry for, and continuously, constantly without interruption, she gave me forgiveness. There wasn’t anything else in her except that!
She showed me a place where everything is okay. She showed me what unconditional love truly looks like. What it feels like. She only said Thank You. Over and Over she said Thank You for loving me. She is awesome and glorious!
I remember Free as being Free. Everything I ever wanted to be and still desire to be. She was already that!
To have been loved the way she loved me is one of the greatest blessings I’ve ever known.
I guess, to people who don’t know the love of dogs, I am a crazy dog loving fool. There are worse things to be aren’t there?
To our Beautiful Best Friends! May their Spirits rest, while they fly in freedom!
Free’s friend.
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Posted by Ash on March 9, 2011 at 3:05 PM
How beautiful a testament that is to your love for her and her’s for you – it is rare I find someone that understands what a “mere animal” can mean to me, and I am so glad we have connected and to have had the chance to hear about Free and all she gave to you & you to her. You were very blessed to have someone help you with her.
I know their spirits do soar, and they are flying in freedom, while still keeping watch over us while they await our reunion with them, whether they come back to us here in another form, or we pass through the veil and rejoined with them in the spirit world.
The dog’s I have been blessed to share time with have been the greatest teacher’s I’ve had in this life, showing through actions and deeds every day what true, unconditional, love really is.
Big, gentle, hugs, and many blessings upon you, and upon your son, and Free, and your new companion (I’m sorry, I don’t know her name).
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Posted by dogkisses on March 12, 2011 at 10:23 AM
Thanks again Ash, for reading and also for inspiring me to write about Free.
My new furry friend’s name is Ruthie 🙂 She already had the name when I met her at the shelter. I’ll never forget how it looked, written over her little cage, with all the other dog names. Hers certainly stood out. Ruthie… I thought. What a sweet, sweet name for a dog.
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Posted by Ash on March 8, 2011 at 11:15 AM
Beautiful… and she is free, now, Free is free. But you’re right, she’s still keeping an eye out on you. She loves you very much. Always will.
Blessings.
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Posted by dogkisses on March 8, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Thank you Ash. Yes, she is still looking out for me. Amazing! I smile when I think of her. Most of the time. I still once in a while cry, but mostly, I always end up smiling. Like now. An easy smile, without any effort at all. We had so many very good times together. She asked me to speak of our good times and remember that about her. And I do.
It is so nice to revisit this post. Thank you for your words here.
Peace and Blessings.
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Posted by Ash on March 8, 2011 at 8:19 PM
You know, you lost Free about the same time I lost my Shunka. I’ve finally gotten to the point of being able to smile when I think of him, or see pictures. He was a special one – I’ve had a number of dogs & wolf-dogs, and he was one of the few that come along so rarely. I had a “pseudo-seizure” in which I was in & out of it, babbling, etc. apparently (I have no memory of it) for an hour & a half, and he alerted my daughter, and was trying to get me out of it, biting my arms & pulling on them, anything he could do. I really might have died if he hadn’t stayed with me stimulating me to come back.
He changed drastically after that, always by my side, and if I made even a cough he’d be in my face, looking into my soul, as my mom put it, until I told him I was okay. He was a purebred black German Shepherd.
He taught me a lot, even after he passed, as I explained in my story of taking his last gift.
I feel very blessed to have had the time with him, and know he’s still watching over me.
Many blessings, Michelle!
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Posted by Michelle on June 2, 2012 at 1:46 PM
I liked reading this comment again. I wonder if they are together, checking on us. Maybe they met in another world. Blessed their ‘rare’ spirits are.
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Posted by Anonymous on January 4, 2011 at 3:36 PM
what a loving tribute to your free!!
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Posted by dogkisses on March 8, 2011 at 7:27 PM
🙂 Thank you. I think this was from you, Ruthie. So sweet. I’m sorry I didn’t reply earlier. If you get this drop me a note.
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