My magic bell and fibromyalgia

with fibromyalgia injuries take longer to heal

intact, after the fall

My magic bell was the first thought I had after I hit the wet pavement.  Did it break I wondered?

As you can see from the picture here, it did not break!  Nor did my head which is good ’cause I didn’t have a helmet on.

“You know how it is with you.  Because of fibromyalgia when you get a localized injury it spreads to other areas,” my doctor said.

“Well, umm, how long do you think my back will hurt?”  I knew the question was one he couldn’t answer.  I don’t know why I asked. He just looked at me.  I don’t remember if he said anything.  I think he simply nodded his head to communicate that he didn’t have a clue.

It was my elbow that got cut open.  My shoulder hurt and my knee,  but after a few days the rest of my body began to hurt.  I was in a great deal of pain as I sat there with my family doctor.

I know you can’t see any bruises I told my doctor, but my body really does hurt.

With a tender tone that was much appreciated he said, “I believe you,” and I knew he did.  He believes me when I tell him I am in pain. This is a blessing when you have an illness that is not only misunderstood but also denied by some as being a true medical entity.

Fibromyalgia.  I think I am mad at this word!  This medical entity!  If I was superstitious or believed in demons possessing one’s body and soul, then I would sure be having an exorcism performed!  But I don’t believe in that, nor do I believe, at least in my rational mind, that I am being punished by God.

Having been brought up in the south with a strong Southern Baptist influence, I must admit that I do actually think and sometimes feel that I am being punished, which I believe is a direct result of what I learned about God and Jesus.

My grandmother told me that Jesus was watching me all the time and that he knew every single thing I did.  Well, that right there shaped and formed a large part of my world view.    I think this must get in a person’s brain forever, these things we learn as children.

When I am in severe pain or have been too fatigued to do anything for days on end, even think, sometimes I find myself lying in my bed, crying out to God and apologizing for all my sins.  I ask why and how am I supposed to do anything if I have this illness that at times renders me totally useless!

My rational mind tells me I’m not being punished and that I am a human being who is not immune to diseases or illnesses.   The pain I live with, the fatigue and the depression because of it all,  is part of the human condition.

I didn’t feel my elbow for the first minute or so.  I hadn’t felt it yet when my son said, “Mom, uhh, you did something to your elbow.”

I lifted my head attempting to get up.  “Mom just lie there.  Did you hit your head?”  I wasn’t seeing stars but walking back home with my son walking behind me with our bikes I couldn’t move my arm.

“I think there is a rock in there,” my son said and that’s when I felt dizzy.  A rock in my elbow.  The thought of it was nauseating to me.  I’m used to pain but not this kind of pain.

My doctor who is gentle and understanding was on vacation when I went to get my stitch out.  The doctor I saw was not like him at all!  I think she thought I wanted pain pills but I told her I had plenty.  I wanted to know if I had hurt my back because it was hurting.  I asked her to examine it, which she did.

“I think this is fibromyalgia.  It’s definitely tissue related.  You’re thin and when you have a traumatic fall like this, with fibromyalgia,  it can…”  I don’t remember how she worded the rest but I didn’t need to hear the words.   They are all the same.

If pain is due to fibromyalgia then basically this means it can behave any way it wants to.  It might be there a week or six months.  It might be localized or widespread.

Sometimes I guess I wish the doctors would say — oh this is something we can fix — and give me a time frame as to when I will be feeling better or recovered.

Update on July 11, 1010 The doctor says that a ligament in my left shoulder and a tendon somewhere around the bicep were strained and pulled.  It still hurts when I move it certain ways.  I fell on October 31st, 2009.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Hi thanks for your very kind comment on my blog, my doctor sounds very much like your doctor he is understanding but at the same time he is clueless in the sense that he can’t help me apart from suggesting pain killers, muscle relaxants, anti inflamatories and of course anti depressants.

    I will add this blog to my favourites and pass by often. All the very best, Brian

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    • Hi Brian — Thank you for writing. I think it is good for us to write about fibromyalgia, share and connect with others who have it. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome also, which the “expert,” I saw says is part of fibromyalgia. The fatigue is as worse and maybe worse than the pain because it is very hard to treat. I will visit your site and read more. I am wondering if you have chronic fatigue also. Thanks for responding to my comment. Hope this one finds you having a good day.

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    • Hi Brian — I believe I emailed you but I’m not sure if it was sent. Since my bike fall I’ve had a hard time. I hope you are doing okay or better even! It is true about doctors. At least mine is honest about what he has to offer you know. He does advise me to use acupuncture as this has helped me a great deal in the past and for many ailments. I need to do this but I keep putting it off. It is expensive but I know someone who will treat people who are sick or in pain even if the person doesn’t have the fee. I have three prescriptions for acupuncture and I think it is kind of crazy that insurance will not cover this. The bike fall triggered widespread pain (fibromyalgia)– and my ligaments and tendons are sore! I hope to read a post by you soon or hear from you. Hope you get this message too — Dogkisses.

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