“How often do you wake up in pain,” my good nurse asked.
“Pretty much every day lately,” I told her.
Her question was the first thing that came to my mind today as I was waking up.
I lied there for the first few minutes, as my brain processed how much pain I was feeling. I thought about my medication and how it was only steps away.
Having overslept, I was an hour late with my dose and when I woke up, there it was! Severe Pain all over my body.
It’s hard to know how much pain to accept, tolerate or live with, when you live in a certain amount of pain all the time. It’s also hard to recognize when pain has worsened until it eases up and I think wow — I was hurting a lot!
I decided about three years ago to take medication for widespread ongoing pain.
“Pain and Living,” is one of my posts in this blog, which was written about the time when I decided that enough was enough. I could only tolerate so much pain. I had met my limit.
I wanted a chance at living my life. I began to notice a difference in the quality of my life right away after going on medication for pain.
I was doing well with the medication. This means the level of pain I was experiencing was much lower and at times, managed well enough that I could do things I hadn’t been able to do in a long time.
Things were going pretty good and then came life. Regular ordinary life.
For me, regular ordinary life includes intermittent crises.
Stress triggers fibromyalgia and fibromyalgia is stressful.
My most recent stress is that I took a hard fall from my magic bike.
Within a ten-day span, I went from having a very sore elbow, shoulder and back, to waking up with severe back pain and finally feeling pain in every place in my body that has tissue.
Fibromyalgia covers a lot of ground.
Yesterday I was able to do some house chores. Some days I wake up and realize I’m able. I know I’m supposed to pace myself, but when I get these able days I try to catch up on things, especially dishes and bathroom chores.
Laundry is the hardest because of lifting clothes, out of the washer – into the dryer – out of the dryer – then folding them. Standing in one spot is hard too, which makes cooking and doing dishes a painful and/or fatiguing experience.
My sweet dog, a great insect hunter, barely brushed against my femur bone when I lied down after my chores and it felt like I was kicked in an already bruised spot. Fibromyalgia pain sometimes feels like my whole body is bruised.
My insect hunter, along with our other 4-legged relative, have been lying as close to my body as they can get over the past two weeks since I fell. They’ve literally had me locked down on the sofa a couple of times. The big one lying across my feet and the little one, only 45 pounds, likes to get anywhere she can and if that means on top of a leg or an arm, then that is where she gets.
Last night, after my day of chores, I woke up about 9pm on the sofa. Both dogs around me. My body was hurting all over. Moving was a struggle. I budged one of the dogs and she didn’t move. They were sleeping good.
I had overdone it with the laundry for sure! I’m not very good at giving in to rest. I truly needed to have that as my top priority.
By the end of today I cried some. I had walked the dogs. Not as far as they needed to be walked, but it was nice and we got a little sunshine. I let them smell where their little noses wanted to go. Lots of people just walk their dogs, but I let mine stop and smell. I once read where it’s good for a dog’s olfactory system to smell things every day. That made sense to me and I like things that make sense.
Dogs have what the native Americans call good medicine. Their medicine is loyalty. They give. This is what they do. They give. They are wonderful nurses!
Pain is stressful. It is tiring. Living with it all the time is depressing. It just is.
“How often do you wake up in pain?” My nurse’s question lingers in my mind.
How often is too often?
- Pain in Fibromyalgia (dogkisses.wordpress.com)
- Without the label of fibromyalgia (dogkisses.wordpress.com)
- In all the fog, I write (dogkisses.wordpress.com)
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