I wish I had time to tell you.

I wish I had time to tell you about Free.  She was a beautiful lab mixed with some Border Collie so of course she was not only beautiful she was highly intelligent!  Smarter than most folks, four-legged or two-legged that I ever knew.

Free was the greatest teacher I’ve ever had.  She left her mark upon this earth and a good one it was!

My Greatest Teacher and most beloved 4legged, Free

Anyone who ever met Free instantly loved her.  “She sure looks like a happy dog,” many people would say.  I always thought it interesting that this is what most people saw when they looked at Free — happiness.

Free was happy when doctors said she ought not be.  “She’s wagging her tail and eating well,” they said with surprise when she had a cancerous tumor on her leg, which I will not talk about.

I can only talk about the happy memories.  The other part is too sad.

In Free’s last days on this earth, she showed me everything.  She showed me a place where things are okay.  A place where everything that happens can, in the end, be okay.  She showed me that the guilt I felt was not needed, even though my heart does still break.

My doctors said I needed antidepressants but I,  instead spent time with Free, lying close to her body, looking into her eyes and listening.  I cried the entire time.   Free showed me everything.  Everything that is beautiful.

I wish I had time to tell you all about it.  I wish I had time, and one day I will.  I’ll tell you about how her spirit came back to visit several times.  I do not believe what people say about dogs not having a spirit.  I just don’t!

Free’s spirit is awesome.  In the darkest moments after she passed she came.  She brought me messages.  The last time I saw her she reminded me of our agreement, which was that I would be okay and that one day I would get another dog.

It feels funny calling Free a dog.

Free’s spirit spoke and moved a woman in my life who is mostly responsible I think for me having the dog I have now.

I know they are dogs.  I know they are canines.  I do not think they are human.  Dogs are however living beings with feelings.  Dogs do actually rule!

I wish I had time to tell you how my good insect hunter I have now came and how Free had her earth angel helping her to help me.

Her earth angel’s name is Tiffany.  I wish I had time too to tell of her.

I don’t usually speak of spirits and angels.  I don’t pretend to understand how life works.  I just know what I’ve experienced.

So one day, when I have time, I will tell you.

I’ll tell you how my dogs save my life pretty much all the time and how it’s just fine for now.  I’ll tell you about how it is a dog that can make me feel needed and how important feeling needed is.

‘kisses

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8 responses to this post.

  1. […] Dog is My Co-PilotI wish I had time to tell you. […]

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  2. Posted by confederaterebel on January 20, 2010 at 11:16 PM

    dogs do indeed have souls…….souls are what set one person apart from another…….and one animal apart from another…….only PEOPLE without souls believe that animals don’t have them!!..my dead pets have all come back to comfort me……to let me know that they are alright….i have seen them…….Heaven is full of animals……and very few people……..as Mark Twain said…..

    The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s….

    many years ago my grandmother had quoted me from the Bible……
    ‘Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for by so doing, some have enterained angels unawares’……

    i never forgot that………and i can say that each and every homeless waif i ever took in was indeed an angel…..the only angels i have ever met walked on four feet……

    i hope to see them all again someday soon…..i hope i will be allowed to enter the Heaven of dogs……..

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    • c–rebel — What a beautiful way with words you wrote here. I think you have a calling on earth for a while. You can be an earth angel for our 4-legged friends. Do not go so soon. Signed authentically, with great compassion for you, Dogkisses.

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  3. ((((Free))))
    I understand this post completely. What a beautiful dog Free was and always will be. 🙂

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    • bats0711– hi, Free was beautiful wasn’t she? I love her still with all my heart. My new dog is the one in the picture. And my other dog is the gravatar with the long tongue. (Or maybe it is avatar, get those confused).

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  4. I have 3 with one coming soon and two cats. I totally get what animals can give to a person in every way and how every day they make me a better person for having them. I love your blog. Good honest chatter. Hugs. Tammy

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  5. Posted by myfoggybrain411 on January 11, 2010 at 3:44 AM

    My dog saves me all the time too… when I’m in pain, she takes the pain away… what a beautiful post you wrote and I’m sure Free and Tiffany know how you feel! I believe dogs have spirits and I also believe Free brought Tiffany to you as much as I know my godmother brought my dog Tani to me…

    I love the picture!!

    Stay strong… have a wonderful day and do something you enjoy today!

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