I write with little energy. I cannot communicate with my favorite blogging friends for now. What I thought was a severe episode of chronic fatigue syndrome and with it, some serious brain fog, is unfortunately more than this.
I went to the ER because I was exposed to pneumonia followed by a weird chest pain with a new cough. The fatigue had worsened and the brain fog turned into confusion. I couldn’t do my paperwork. I got scared.
I don’t have pneumonia but was admitted to the hospital so they could watch my heart, which they did. They watched it run slowly all night. It stayed between 45 and 50 beats per minute until the nurse came in at 3am with the maintenance man to fix the heater’s thermostat, which wasn’t broken. It did go up then but not for long.
They discharged me early, partly because I had begged. I can’t leave my dogs. I have bills to pay. Things that must get done this week. I agreed to follow up with doctors, which I’ve done as I write.
Right now I’m like my sister’s cell phone was a few minutes ago — working with only one bar.
My discharge papers reads, “Sinus bradycardia.”
What I know is I’m dead tired. I got to where my fingers couldn’t type. I couldn’t pick up the telephone when it rang and it was beside the bed! I couldn’t do anything. I knew I had to seek help.
After monitoring my heart all night, then having a few conversations with a very good doctor, he decided that the slow heart rate is a nutritional problem. He believes that I’m not eating enough. He may be right.
When I said I had a broken heart, well, I guess it goes to show that our emotions are very much a physical part of being human.
I had a lot of grief over the past year. I had many changes too. Lately, things have actually been changing for the better, but I guess life gave me a bit more sadness than my heart could take.
The sadness I have gone through reminds me of the Kudzu that grew in the mountains where I lived, as well as where I live now. You pretty much have to go in and blast the foundation to get rid of this plant.
The new leaves are supposedly nutritious and can keep a person alive. I think there are medicinal uses for the plant, but of course, I can’t remember what they are. I’m running on low. I do remember that you can only eat the fresh leaves in the springtime, otherwise it is a poisonous plant.
I had myself a session with a psychopath, exposing me to an awful growth of toxins. I ate from the autumn vines with the darker bigger and poisonous leaves and they made me sick!
Hopefully, and I am hopeful as I write, I think simply from having written, I will heal and very soon.