Holding Hope

We find it, lose it, and yet keep finding it... that elusive source of survival

Hope is a wonderful feeling.  It’s also hard to hold.  I guess some people have it most of the time, which must be a very nice experience.

I wonder if the people who have hope most or even all of the time are consciously aware of it?   Maybe it’s an ongoing feeling that is so normal they don’t think about it.

I get bursts of hope –sometimes in large doses and other times small ones, but it comes and it goes.

It’s like being on a merry-go-round.   Sometimes I jump off where there isn’t any hope and instead a great void of darkness.  It is from this desperately sorrowful place that I search for hope, because that’s the only thing strong enough to pull me out.  The trick is me being able to see it, grab it and hold on to it long enough to stand on the ground again.

Round and round I go.  Lose it, find it, lose it and find it again.

My losing hope feels like a normal human response to chronic repeated difficult situations filled with fear and grief.   It comes from not knowing what to do or being too tired to do what I think might help me find some peace.

Hope instills peace and joy.  If I could hold hope long enough, I’d have a better chance at feeling joy.  I might even feel happy again, like I did a long time ago.

Hope must be something you have to nurture.  It must be akin to yeast if you want bread to rise.  It might be the same to the spirit and mind as water is to the physical body.   Maybe we can’t survive without it.

Hope is hard to hold.  I keep losing it, but then again, I keep finding it.

Thank you for visiting my blog.


5 responses to this post.

  1. That’s one of the things I like about you DK, you always look for the hope-light even when part of you is convinced it is burnt out for good. You never give up and stay in the darkness, even when you might want to (and believe me, I am no stranger to that struggle!)

    May Hope and Peace always shine their lights for you.

    Peace, my friend.



    • Thank you hiddenlives.

      I’m trying to practice being more vigilant about having hope. It is a real fight lately, but like you say, I can’t stay in the darkness.

      Thanks for your wonderful well wishes.

      Peace to you.



  2. Thanks Ruthie (do you go by Ruthie?). What a nice comment!

    Peace to you!



  3. Posted by ruthie on December 28, 2010 at 12:28 PM

    Oh doggykisses how wonderful to see your post on this cold winter morning! Just so you know, it brings hope to me to read your blog and listen to you describe life and your feelings about it. My idea about hope is that in many ways it is much like love, that it grows when it is given away. For instance, giving hope to another person and giving them a perspective of seeing the fresh fallen snow or a beautiful sunset reminds us of hope that springs eternal and from God who made a covenant with His people.

    Heb. 11: 1
    Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen.

    It is the ebb and flow of the tide for hope to come and go. That is why we are all connected in the world, to bring hope to one another!!



    • Hi Ruthie,
      I’m not sure how these comments got out of order but wanted to make sure you know that I read this one from you and it is quite lovely.

      Job 14:7
      For there is hope for a tree,if it be cut down, that it will sprout again,and that its shoots will not cease.

      I love this.

      Most affectionately,



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